Flares in Amber Eyes
by RulerOfCats
Summary: It was impossible to end a war without fighting it. So I picked my weapon in hopes that at the end of this hell, this was the way to abolish these weapons forever. Once it was over, the kids I grew with alongside were broken and their eyes still screamed with a fight that was unending. It was then that I discovered purpose after the violence. (Implied Kakashi x OC) AU Chasing Smoke


_"The great questions of the day will not be settled by means of speeches and majority decisions but by iron and blood."_

**-Otto von Bismarck**

****T****he sun was setting over the horizon when I lifted my hand from my bag of snacks. One leg was dangling over the tree branch while my other was propped up with my arm resting against it. The pretzel crunched in between my teeth and I was still chewing when I heard the sound of a voice echoing through my earpiece.

_"If you're going to eat, then eat soft food like marshmallows or a dick, I don't give a fuck."_

I blinked, glancing to the side as I lifted another pretzel through my lips. I ignored my very angry comrade as I continued to satisfy my salt craving. In the distance, after every crunch, the bunny's ear would twitch, signifying it was close to dashing off before Nikohiko could go in for the kill. In the meantime, I focused sensing out our third teammate who so quickly rushed ahead like a fool.

I glanced to the side, spotting a bird perched near my head. I raised my hand and ruffled the leaves, causing the bird to scatter off and the bunny to dash away because of the noise.

"Fuck you, Hal!" Nikohiko cursed, and my nose twitched at the nickname, already disliking it immensely. I also had a deep dislike for unnecessary killing, so when he jumped on the branch next to me, dripping with a deep annoyance, I smiled.

"I picked berries," I said, and his scowl deepened.

"Fuck your berries," Nikohiko retorted, his scowl matching the angry aura that oozed off him with such beautiful certainty. I empathized, after all, with my abilities I had no other choice but to empathize. However, I didn't particularly care for him or the current mission at hand.

"Suit yourself," I commented, jumping off the branch as I stretched my arms over my head. "Not long now. Let's get moving."

"It would have been faster if you just let me kill it," he commented in return, jumping down next to me. Nikohiko couldn't have been more than a couple years older than me, but he must have waited to reach puberty until later on into his life, because he was eternally moody.

"I'm not going to sit by and watch animals die for your amusement just because you want to feel powerful," I told him, and he paused, but didn't try to fight me.

"Lets just find that loser." Nikohiko was still just as angry, but I wasn't bothered by it and had grown accustomed to people getting defensive around me.

It was my own fault for always pointing out people's insecurities, but sometimes it was hard not to and it got people to shut up for a couple minutes of silence. That was all we needed to feel out the malicious Chakra in the air. I suppose when you battle for as long as I have, it's quite easy to feel the texture of Chakra in the air. It was like a sixth sense, and I could practically reach out and touch it. Nikohiko, however, was less gifted with my particular senses, and he barely noticed when I paused.

Red bangs restricted my vision, but not enough to not see the blade darting out from between the trees. My eyes widened, reaching forward and grabbing it from midair, tossing it back in the direction it came from before it could penetrate Nikohiko's back. The boy glanced towards me, obviously stunned for a moment. I couldn't afford such weakness and I didn't really trust him to have my back. He was too reckless, too emotional, too everything.

I did not suffer from such a thing. I spent all my life feeling everything from everyone else that sometimes, it was rather difficult to understand if I felt anything for myself. Maybe after the war was over, that would be a hinderance, but in this moment, it was my strength.

I dodged the senbon needles with quick grace, but only because they were coated with a Chakra that made them bright and illuminated the darkening sky. I recognized the glint of the Hitai-ate, a distinguished symbol from the village hidden in the stone. The ground was still wet from the nearly never-ending rain, and I carefully made sure my steps did not involve sinking into the mosh. There was one ninja in front, two behind, and all I had was four shuriken and a single kunai. My Chakra was still recovering from the last battle, Nikohiko was a fool, and my body was in desperate need for sleep.

I analyzed these simple facts with calm indifference as I felt the earth begin to rumble at my feet. Wind against earth types was a dangerous and tricky battle, and I had little faith in Nikohiko's temper.

I shoved him out of the way before the ground could swallow him up. I heard him curse at my actions but was too preoccupied when the mud hardened like stone around my ankle. I felt the sprinkling against my cheeks the very next moment. It seemed like all of Ame's acts of mother nature were against me. It was cold and I was still so very tired. Still, I had some life left in me. I moved my hands out to run Chakra into my fingertips, quickly going through the motions to create a gust of wind sharp enough to break free.

I slammed my fist into the hard rock, feeling it shatter upon impact. I made sure to coat my foot in a layer of Chakra, lest I do more harm than good. I quickly jumped back, trying not to touch the mud once again as I pressed my feet against the bark of a nearby tree. I wiped the rain drops out of my eyes, going through the motions of another Jutsu, sending a gust of a tornado out towards the enemy Shinobi. I didn't account for Nikohiko using a very strong fire ball in the opposite direction, likely attempting to hit the Shinobi that was only a couple meters behind me. However, I doubt he accounted for logic as the wind enveloped the fire and made it much bigger.

"You idiot," I whispered, jumping out of the way as the two Jutsu combined and expanded, enveloping the trees and every spec of grass just near my feet.

He managed to hit the Ninja on his shoulder, but he also managed to wound me in the process. I hissed in pain as I attempted to ignore the burn that caught my right arm. To my immense defeat, I saw that blistering redness that enveloped my arm nicely. I made a silent curse towards the dumbass that was my teammate. I was outmatched.

That was the issue with fighting with people I didn't trust. Now, because of that, I had lost the use of my arm and Nikohiko was being surrounded by three Shinobi whose teamwork wasn't complete garbage. I'd go as far as to say it was impressive. They attacked as a unit and I knew within moments that I stood no chance, especially since my dominant arm was significantly slowed down by Nikohiko's flame.

I winced, taking out the dagger that remained strapped to my thigh. It was gifted for my tenth birthday by the man who took me in and taught me to fight, so it was only fitting that it was to be what saved my life. With one arm and a teammate who I thought to be unworthy of even speaking, I attacked. My taijutsu was always rather decent, but I made a silent pledge to train it better so I could use one hand just as effortlessly as two.

It was odd, thinking so closely of what I could do better in training for the future when fighting for my life in present. It kept me grounded in the now, allowing me to think clearly. The Shinobi were arrogant, unprepared for an actual challenge. I didn't need my ability to see that, but it surely helped. I could see the way their Chakra would fluctuate, rushing into their fists and allowing me to tell what body part they were about to attack with. It gave me an acute chance to dodge.

Nikohiko likely thought he was helping, but really all he did was get in the way, bumping into me because he didn't understand the first thing about actually fighting with someone. He wanted the glory, but likely all he would end up getting was a cracked skull. I shoved him back, blocking the katana coming for his head with my blade. I kicked my leg forward, similtaniously slashing the stone ninja's cheek, applying a touch of my own Chakra formula into the slash.

_One._

I dodged the second ninja, a feat that was beginning to tire out my arms. I was too small and to take the blunt force of their strength was too much. I was using my non-dominant hand and the muscles were weaker and clumsy. My legs, however, remained strong and I kicked up, straight into the stone ninja's groin. He went down without a moment of pause.

His eyes flashed with fury that I felt resonate in my chest like a drum, but I slashed his chest before he could do much damage with his monstrous strength. _Two. _The wound was shallow, having little time to do more when the third and first ninja came towards me. The third Shinobi was the fastest of the three, but Nikohiko was acceptable fodder as he kept goading the three with his arrogance and annoying methods of fighting, using most distractions and cheap tricks. It managed to keep him alive, so I wasn't complaining.

I was slow now, not nearly as fast as usual and my Chakra needed to be conserved. I couldn't afford to use a drop and it would take a small minute for it to replenish since my last battle wasn't more than an hour ago. I just wish I could have eaten the rest of my snacks as some type of possible last meal.

In my distraction with thoughts of food, the second Shinobi grabbed me by the hair, nearly yanking it out as his knee slammed into my kidney. I used Chakra to shield the blow, but the pain of the surprise still forced blood to flood my mouth. I didn't have enough energy. I tossed my dagger to the side, and while the last Shinobi was distracted, it cut into his arm.

"Work on your aim, little girl," the monstrous stone ninja told me, but my ears were still rushing with adrenaline. I slammed my hands together, and my formula of the Flying Thunder God technique glowed with blue Chakra on each of the three stone Ninja. In moments, they disappeared.

The moment they were gone, I fell down to my knees with my fingers digging into the grass. I was exhausted, starving, cold, and homesick. Also wet. I realized with calm bemusement that the sprinkling had turned into full blown rain, down pouring over my face.

"What the fuck just happened?" Nikohiko asked the me, causing me to almost immediately scowl up at him.

"If you take one step closer to me, I'm going to shove my fist down your throat and pull out a Shinobi that isn't a raging disappointment," I warned him, standing up, already feeling my Chakra begin to regenerate itself, but my legs were still weak. "Let's find that little runt."

"You sure? You look ready to collapse," Nikohiko wasn't concerned, not genuinely. I could feel that much. He mostly suffered from a bruised ego, upset that he hasn't been able to pick up any of the glory in battle, especially since I was years younger and a girl. Even still, I could hold my own and he hated it. I could feel the bitterness so deeply that I began to wonder why I had to get a teammate so insecure.

I didn't answer him. My arm was burning, but the chill of the rain actually was quite helpful for the pain. However, my legs were about ready to collapse. If I were alone, I'd simply rest and take a break, but I could sense Hiroyasu Hyuuga not too far ahead. We were so close that that I could practically see the hue of his Chakra. After he ran ahead, headstrong and ready to prove himself, Nikohiko and I had been attacked by a group Mist Ninja. After that, the young prodigy was quite a distance away, sprouting nonsense about aiding the front lines. Personally, if I had the choice, I'd stay far away from the front lines, having been their quite a few times and having little desire to see it again.

It was just poor luck to get attacked by the stone ninja when we did, since now I was down an arm and stuck with an idiot at my side.

I wasn't about to take any nonsense, but my words were dead on my lips when we came across the scene of blood and gore ahead of us. Exhausted Shinobi, clad with their uniforms emblazoned with spots of brown and blood. I was immediately greeted by an unpleasant odor of rotting corpses, mixed with horrible smell of burned flesh. Some of those that could barely walk scuttled around the battleground and searched through the bushes thoroughly for any signs of survivors. The touch of death was cold, as cold as ice.

Besides the occasional shouts of orders from someone who looked like a Jounin, the atmosphere was encompassed with an eerie silence. There was absolutely no sign of life along the trail, deeming this place a desolate, lifeless land.

This was the sight of war, the sound of war, the touch of war, the taste of war and the smell of war.

Amidst the bodies, I finally spotted the Hyuuga boy that caused me so much trouble. He was bent over, covered in dirt and soot. I walked closer, able to feel the deadly emotion of sorrow that overcrowded this place. There were solid reasons I never stuck around long after the aftermath of a large battle. The emotions were too raw and I could feel each and every one of them as if they were attacking me with weapons as sharp as spears. They came at me from all sides, but I trudged through, careful to avoid stepping on anyone or kicking the severed hand that rested near my foot.

Hiroyasu was trembling, sobbing even. He always was a rather strong kid, sprouting about making his father proud. That was all a show. He was still just a child, only a year older than the dead kid he was kneeling down next to. Seeing the first dead kid was always so harrowing, and I could still see the faces of everyone I had ever killed when I closed my eyes.

I waited for him to speak, but in the meantime, I knelt down and closed that child's eyes so it seemed as if she were sleeping. I didn't know her name or her family. Still, she didn't deserve to die.

"I want it to be over." Hiroyasu was crying, but I didn't move to console him. "This is pointless. It's all pointless. What are we even fighting for? I don't even remember anymore."

I let him cry for a moment, glancing around to see if anyone needed my help. I scanned the area for Chakra that still erupted from any of these bodies. There was few. Too few. The deaths were getting brutal. "Stand up," I ordered him. I didn't bother to brush the rain from my cheeks, none of that seemed to matter when I could feel so much of the people around me. Their bodies were crying out, and the weight of it all was crushing me.

"I can't!" Hiroyasu cried out, Nikohiko paid no mind to the Hyuuga and immediately rushed over to give aid to a soldier in need.

"Are you injured?" I asked, and finally he met my gaze. "Is your legs broken? Are your arms broken? Have you any wounds?"

He didn't answer, but his silence was answer enough. He tried to avoid my gaze, but I gripped him by the chin and forced him to look at me. The amber hue of my eyes pierced through his. I suppose this was why I had always been told they were creepy. It didn't help that I had this innate talent for just seeing through bullshit. I had no time for bullshit. I had no time for empathy, even if I did feel it.

"Stand up on your feet. There are many who have died yesterday, many who died today, many who are dying right now, and even more that will die tomorrow," I leaned close, so he couldn't avoid my gaze. "You can cry all you want, bury your head in the dirt, and you can pretend that by sobbing, you can avoid it all. You can't. This war isn't pointless. This girl didn't die for nothing. Stand back up and honor her by seeing this through. Honor all that die by protecting those that are still living."

"How do I do that?" Hiroyasu asked, and I shook my head, standing up and walking towards a coughing man who begged for water.

"You can start by wiping those tears away, and treating the ones who might just make it," I answered, kneeling down to the man with the gash in his abdomen. I gave him water, the last of my water in fact, and took a look at the deep gash in his gut. I met his gaze and he grimaced. "I'm Hallora. Please listen to my voice."

_I suppose it was the best thing about my ability._

I gripped his head, gently in between my palms. I passed it along, a sense of calm serenity, a sense of painless euphoria.

He died, I couldn't stop that, but when he passed, he felt no pain. It was as if he fell into a deep sleep. My hands were covered in blood, and if I weren't being scrutinized, maybe I might have cried. Maybe not. I was too numb. I wanted peace. I wanted peace so badly that I could taste the sweetness of it in my mouth.

However, I already accepted that in order to obtain peace, I had to be prepared for war. I had to be strong.

●▬Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ▬●

It was funny how when I got back from the front lines, nothing in Konoha seemed to have changed. Not funny 'ha ha' but just disorienting. Many still sold food at the venders that early morning, smiling at me from every direction as if there wasn't a care in the world. Of course, I knew better. My eyes were searching, hauntingly slow, for a familiar face as I waited by the entrance of the gates, pacing back and forth with my thumb in between my teeth.

Men and women were coming back in groups, being accepted back into the village with comfort and open arms from loved ones who hadn't seen their family in months. I was distraught. I realized that I was within moments of my pacing. I didn't know who would come back. I didn't know if anyone I knew would come back.

Minato wasn't here. Kakashi wasn't here. Rin was dead. Obito was gone, just as so many were. I never knew what was going to happen when I had to wait for them to return. That was why I felt such intense relief when I saw that mop of yellow hair. I suppose I had been holding back a waterfall of tears, but they all released when I rushed forward, knocking over some Shinobi who didn't matter to me before shoving into Minato in so hard a motion that he nearly fell back. My arms were probably too tight around his waist, but the relief was too great to hold back.

I felt his arms wrap around me just as tightly. It was the first time I had been on the battle field so far from his watchful eye, so when I felt his own relief I finally let out that breath I didn't know I was holding. He knelt down, cupping my cheeks and inspecting my face for damages.

"You're safe," Minato whispered, and I leaned my forehead against his.

"I saw the front lines. A part of it at least."

I saw his fists clench, but the fire in his eyes were too deep to ignore. "It will end."

"When?"

He didn't answer, but of course how could he? I knew my question had no simple answer. I _knew_ that.

However, when the last peace treaty was signed, I remember weeping with joy.

●▬Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ▬●

It was at the festival, celebrating the end of the war and the very first day with Minato Namikaze as the Fourth Hokage, that I saw the fireworks light up the sky in an array of gold and red. It was perhaps the first moment of peace I had in over a year. Still, it all felt rather lonely and I was distinctly aware of the lack of many children in the streets. Of course, many kids between the ages of six and twelve were dead and buried by now.

Many didn't have it in them to do anything but cry. This was the war where I lost my parents. Despite it being over, it still didn't bring back anything that was taken. I would still never hear my mom's voice or feel my dad ruffle my hair. It had been so long since I'd last seen them that I nearly even forgot what they looked like. That forgotten piece of memory hit me in the gut as if they had died all over again.

There was too many mixed emotions around here. Everybody was feeling something different and it was making it hard to truly relax. I quickly turned around to escape, but my chest ran straight into someone's body, my face hitting their shoulder. I would have fallen back if a hand hadn't steadied me by my elbow. I glanced up and felt immediate relief at Kakashi's face, surprised I had not sensed him.

"You're back," I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he still wasn't taller than me, so the action wasn't quite awkward yet. He didn't hug me back, but I hardly expected him to. "When did you get back?"

"A couple days ago," Kakashi answered, his voice was the same as I last remembered, and for a moment I paused at the haunting emptiness of it all. I didn't say anything. It wasn't my place, and I hadn't seen him in so long.

I reached him and inspected his face, staring at the large cut on his cheek, at least, what I could see of it with the mask covering the evidence. I scowled, already feeling a moment of worry that he had been fighting too hard. He brushed off my concern and my hands, taking a step back.

I frowned, but didn't question it too harshly. "Can I buy you some dinner? We can celebrate."

"I don't want to celebrate," he answered, his eyes set in a deadpan. I knew he would decline, but I had to try anyway.

"Just," I paused, shaking my head and trying not to scold him too hard. "Just please eat something. Anything."

He didn't answer me, and instead just nodded and attempted to leave the crowd. I didn't follow him. Sometimes, people just need to be alone. I didn't think it was good for him, but I wasn't certain what I could do or what I could say.

Instead, I put it off.

It was then that I noticed the exquisite dance that ran the strange only a small distance away. The women were draped in the most expensive of silk, holding fans made of colored feathers. They moved in such formation that the stage ran under them like water. They were so focused and poised, catching the attention of nearly everyone who watched.

Of course, I knew who they were. The Oiran of the red light district. I could only hope that Minato would enforce the law against prostitution, especially considering I recognized Anomie from my distance away. How could I not? She had a very memorable face and a perfect body.

I was slightly disappointed, knowing her services went far deeper than mere dancing.

She was the best dancer up there, managing to never miss a step or lose focus. She always was an attention seeker, so when she moved, my attention was captured, lulling me into a sense of peace. I could almost forget that all my friends were dead.

Ah. Never mind. Peace broken.

After the dance was over I took my moment to attempt to score a drop of alcohol to wash away the depression. That was incredibly difficult since I was only 11 years old. Strange, I mean I was old enough to kill someone, hold weapons, but when it came to getting a small shot of rum, heaven forbid that is just asking too much.

"Aren't you up past your bedtime?" Anomie's voice was as silky as I remembered, catching my attention as I was rejected from getting a drink. I was moments from henging into an old man when she scooted past me, batted her long lashes at the bartender, and got bottle of sake without charge.

I watched with slight envy at the way she had him so tightly wrapped around her finger that she could basically have him do whatever she wanted.

To be 13 years old with a body of a young woman.

She glanced towards me, her lips curling as she handed me the bottle from behind her back. I took it without complaint, not sticking around for her to continue chatting up the man behind the bar.

I hugged it to my chest, hoping Minato or basically anyone who knew me didn't see me carrying a bottle of sake. I would have it taken away so fast my head would spin. It wasn't like I was about to get shit faced. I just wanted a taste.

I hid behind a crowd, carefully opening the bottle and bringing it to my lips to take a sip. Before I could, however, it was snatched away from me by the white haired girl who had only just given it to me.

"Hey," I commented, earning her deadpan stare.

"That's not how you drink it," she said, sitting across from me on the bench. She took out two spherical sake cups and placed one in front of me and the other in front of her. She poured the both of them carefully before setting it down.

I took that moment to admire the jewels embedded in her hair. They all looked incredibly expensive, making me wonder what the punishment would be if she lost one. "Thank you." I told her, watching her shrug, her amber eyes scanning the crowd, occasionally making eye contact with men who tried to get her attention.

It was rather hard to stay under the radar when the girl across from me was practically oozing with sexual appeal and had a face that turned heads.

"What are you doing here?" I asked and she glanced towards me, holding my gaze for a moment before she tilted her head. I distinctly remember that she didn't really enjoy crowds, at least, not when she was still with Rin. Unfortunately, when Rin died, Anomie fell off the face of the earth.

"Look at all these rich and drunk men," she said, leaning forward as if it were a secret. "Look at them, then ask me again why I'm here."

"You're 13," I reminded her and she smiled.

"They don't care," she said, tucking a stray strand of hair and placing it behind her ear. "If anyone asks, you didn't get this from me." She pointed to the sake bottle. She went to walk away, leaving me to wonder what she was thinking.

For Anomie, I had a bit of a challenge reading her. Perhaps because she was so talented at acting a certain part that she herself had begun to believe it. It wasn't always that way. I could read her a bit better in the past.

I sighed, tasting the bitterness of the sake in my mouth. I decided at that moment that drinking was perhaps not my escape. Then again, what was at this point?

●▬Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ▬●

"It's been a while," I greeted, sitting down next to the KIA stone, running my fingers over my parent's neatly carved names. "I'm sure you both have already seen, but the war is finally over," I whispered, the relief damn near palpable.

The treaty was finally signed, but this was the first time I really said it out loud. There was no other way to feel but to have that beautiful euphoric vibration that sunk into my heart. "I fought hard, mom. I have honed everything you taught me."

"They would be proud of you," Minato's voice came up from behind me, causing my heart to lighten.

"Last I saw, you were swarmed with paperwork," I commented and he chuckled.

"That's not going anywhere," he said said in a rather amusing if not lamenting tone of voice. It took me a moment to enjoy the presence of a friend, especially one so busy.

"What brings you to this depressing corner of Konoha," I asked, and he gave me a slight smile.

"You never reported in," Minato said, cause me to let out a sheepish grin.

"Is that right?" I shook my head, my short red bangs circling my cheeks. "I don't recall the notice that I had to."

"If you had," Minato said, holding back a barely concealed smile. "Perhaps you would already be wearing your mask."

That caused me to stand up, the surprise etched onto my face with burning energy. "What?"

"I'm promoting you," he told me, no hint of a smile now, making me believe that this was actually happening. I paused, having dreamed of this day, but Sarutobi Hiruzen had made it quite clear that he thought I was too young.

In my stunned silence, Minato placed his palm gently on top of my head.

"I have a couple suggestions on your squad."

"I get a squad." By now I was positively beaming.

New Hokage means new everything.

Perhaps this was the start of something rather amazing. Of course that was how I must look at this, because if I let the doubt and negativity inside, I was certain that it would crush me and I'd quit this life and perhaps find a new dream.

And of course that would be selfish to all the lives I could still save if I did my best.

●▬Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ▬●

"This needs to be signed too," the Jounin told me as I let out a deep sigh, signing my name on the eighteenth contract while Minato's face was basically buried under paperwork from behind me.

It was immensely disappointing that as my first day as an Anbu, the first order of business was paperwork. It was contracts, looking over treaties, and more books than I could count. I was told I had to learn everything, from Konoha territories, boundaries, and disputes between specific minorities.

"Just curious," I said dryly, glancing up past the twelve books that were stacked very high above my head. In addition to those, around 49 scrolls rested just next to that. They did not belong to Minato Namikaze, of course not, they were mine to read, to study, and to memorize. "Is this a punishment."

Minato chuckled, but it was hard to get amusement from my current situation. "I need you to memorize every detail you can. You have two weeks."

"Does every new Anbu recruit get so much busywork?"

"You are not like every Anbu recruit," he told me, and I heard the sound of papers ruffling.

"Yes. That's all very well and good, but what kind of missions will require me to know," I glanced at the forth scroll on top of the pile. "The customs of a Mizu citizen."

Minato leaned up in his chair, finally making eye contact. "This peace is brittle. I am not looking for just great fighters. I need this team to help keep the peace. I need you to lead them."

"If that's the case," I paused, holding up my pointer finger to my lips. "I have a couple suggestions to people who I think will be a worthy inclusion."

●▬Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ▬●

It was just the beginning of Autumn when the leaves were just beginning to fall. It was a beautiful day when I just wanted to lay on the grass and feel the breeze upon my cheeks. Instead, what I got was studying a scroll written in such a way that I had to wonder if even the writer could understand it.

I was sitting on the grass, but it was not the time to admire the weather. I was a bit distracted since my choice of hill was next to the extravagant house that resided just below. It was surrounded by the most beautiful garden I had ever seen, back dropped with a sand river in the back. It was perhaps the most wonderful sight in Konoha, but would have been better if it wasn't in view of the red light district.

It was then that I felt the scroll get yanked out of my grasp. I hadn't noticed her approach with my head buried in books, and when I met her gaze she smiled.

"What is this?" Anomie asked, glancing over the document with a raised brow. "Little bit of light reading? Aren't these too advanced for you?"

"That one might be," I commented, rubbing my temples with a sigh. I had done nothing but read them for ten hours, and yet that one was my limit.

"Ah," Anomie slightly smiled, leaving her weight on one hip and showing the intricate silk of her kimono. "I've read this."

"What?" I stood up, surprised. She paused, but a smile spread over her lips.

"I know. It's hard to believe someone as pretty as me does anything but take care of her body," she said, crossing her arms. "But in between my workouts I have to study."

"What for?" My brows furrowed.

"Men love good conversation," she answered with confidence. "I make it so no one can think lesser of me."

"What are you so afraid of?" I didn't mean to ask it, but I could finally read her, even if only for a moment.

"Nothing," she said, shoving the scroll into my chest. "Anyway, it's difficult to understand at first, but try not to get too lost in the analogies. Kisuke Koyi enjoys talking out of his ass. Ame traditions aren't that complex. If you like, I can give you my notes."

"I'd like that," I told her, still surprised at how she could have gotten access to the scroll before deciding I didn't want to know.

"Information is power," she admitted, glancing towards the three other books I had brought with me.

"I suppose when you feel so helpless, it's useful to have a bit of power in life," I murmured, analyzing her every move. She put up her guard once more, giving me a smile so genuine that I nearly believed it.

"I have to get going," she said, glancing towards the extravagant house behind us. I could tell that she was slightly worried, but didn't question it. "But meet me tonight, yeah? My room is at the end on the right with the window just in view of the cherry tree," she pointed it out with a smile. "Make sure it's after midnight though. I'll have the notes ready."

"You're a lot kinder than you appear," I told her, causing her to tilt her head, her long hair still wrapped up tight on top of her head with intricate jewels.

"I'm not doing it out of kindness," she said, raising a brow. "Bring me a square watermelon that is the perfect ripeness. If you don't, I'll burn them."

"That's awfully dramatic," I said in a deadpan.

"I'd be a wonderful actress," she said with a smile, patting the back of her hand against her cheek. "After all, not everyone can be as talented as I am."

"Do you believe your own hype that much?" I asked, and she smirked.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll grow into that nose eventually," she said, and I felt my lips twitch down, attempting not to touch my nose in my own self conscious nature. "See ya. Remember. No gifts for me, no notes for you."

"What a bitch," I muttered, watching as she turned to walk back down the hill towards the house. She had just barely entered the gates, pausing to pretend to be busy staring at the fountain, when a man I recognized as a village council member exited the house and latched onto her. I couldn't see much since the beautiful architecture and pillars restricted my eye, but I watched him press himself to her in an embrace that made my cheeks redden. I turned away and gathered my books, finally realizing what that house was, already wanting to get away as fast as possible.

Only later did I discover that Anomie gave me the worst task.

"Why is this so expensive? It's a fruit," I said, glancing down at the square melon with a sigh. The store clerk gave me a deadpan that made me sigh and hand over a vast majority of my spending money for the next two weeks. "Better be some damn good notes," I muttered, walking away with my new melon that costed almost more than my rent.

I caught sight of Kakashi in the distance, and might have waved if it wasn't for how carefully I clutched the expensive fruit into my chest. I rushed to catch up with his sulking form, nudging him slightly with my foot into his calf when I finally caught up with him. His brow raised, glancing at the fruit and back to my face.

"Don't ask," I said, already knowing that he wasn't going to since that would mean he would actually have to initiate a real conversation. Heaven forbid that he didn't want to do that. "What are you doing?"

"Walking," he answered in his monotone, but I caught the hint of Kakashi's old level of sarcasm that made me frown.

"I know," I said with a sigh, deciding I needed to work on my conversation starters because they sucked and my social skills were lacking due to the war where most of my time I spent fighting or killing or running or sleeping. I never left room for anything else. "Are you okay? Are you eating? You look thinner."

"Do we have to do this," he said, shoving his hands into his pockets and causing me to sigh.

"I'd like to," I admitted, adjusting the weight of the melon in my arms. "Look, how about you and me train a bit tomorrow morning, like we used to?"

"Nah," he answered, watching as I frowned.

"Listen," I tried not to give a lecture, but it was hard because I knew exactly what he needed to hear, but I wasn't certain if now was the right time to do it. I was holding a watermelon for fuck's sake. "Just, please, spend time with me a bit. I have some news that I think you'll enjoy."

"Doubt it," he said, his eyes still set in a deadpan.

I was losing my patience and this melon was heavy as fuck. "It's either we do this the easy way where you meet me tomorrow morning at the training grounds or..." I ran Chakra into my hands, making the melon much lighter. "I drag you there by your ear and kick your ass."

He disappeared in a cloud of smoke and leaves, causing me to frown.

"By the ear it is," I muttered, quickly deciding that my walk was pointless and the fresh air wasn't doing me any good. Instead, I body flickered back to the red light district.

It was only eight, so it was too early to meet Anomie. Instead, I laid down onto the ground and listened to the vague music that came from the house. It was a calming sound, probably the best koto player I had ever heard. It lulled me into a nap.

When I awoke, it was already night and the stars were in the sky, twinkling in a beautiful hue above me. I sighed, grabbing the melon and letting out a yawn, glancing down at my watch and deciding that 11:30 was good enough. I held the melon close to my chest, body flickering to Anomie's window. I heard a sound that made me pause, and through the bamboo gate that surrounded the round window, I caught sight of Anomie's bare back as she hopped off the bed, naked, and went to pick up her discarded robes. I could just barely see it through the moonlight and the lit candles inside the room. I would have looked away, but I noticed the distinct bruises on her skin, covering her shoulders and her neck. On the back of her neck, I saw the tattoo, the branding of an Oiran.

In the bed, I saw a man, just barely since the wall constricted it, on the bed. I looked away, biting my lip.

It was one thing knowing, but another thing entirely when I had to see it.

"You're early," Anomie whispered through the bamboo gate that barred the window. In my surprise, I nearly knocked the bamboo pipe that kept the rice paper fixture propped up. If it were fully closed, I wouldn't have been able to see inside. "You're too early."

"I'm impatient," I admitted, and she frowned.

"You can come in. I gave him enough drugs to knock out a horse," she said, moving the latch from the inside and opening the bamboo gate. I was hesitant, having never been inside before. "What? Afraid you might catch something?"

Anomie rolled her eyes, grabbing a stray sheet from the ground and draping it over the man as if she were hiding the fact that he was here. I still didn't entire the room.

Anomie wasn't offended, instead she grabbed the notes from one of the locked drawers and pulled them out. I didn't hold up the melon and my arms remained awkward and nearly limp at my sides. Her lips quirked up. "You're so cute."

"What?" I asked, as she leaned out the window, tilting her head and I watched. Her hair was down and it had been a while since I had seen her so unkempt. I couldn't help but be nervous, anxious even, because this wasn't the type of situation I knew how to handle and my social skills were still mending from being off the battlefield.

"You act like an adult, but really you're just a kid sometimes," she said, reaching forward and grabbing me by the chin, forcing me closer. I was drawn in because her eyes were just so narrow, looking very much like honey. "Nothing is gonna bite unless that's what you paid for." She let go of my chin resting it under own face to prop it up.

"Are you happy?" I asked, glancing up into her eyes so she couldn't lie to me.

Her eyes sparkled with amusement, proving how well trained she was at dodging any and all serious questions. "How can I not be when you've brought me a treat so exquisite?" Her eyes fell on the melon, waiting for me to offer it to her. I did and she bowed her head as if it wasn't out of the norm for her to get such gifts.

"It was expensive," I told her, watching her pink lips curl.

"Of course. Those are the best kinds of gifts," Anomie said and I grabbed the notes with one hand after she placed the melon on her desk. "It's been a pleasure. Let me know if you want the other half. For another gift, I'll give the rest to you."

"What?" I paused, glancing up to her.

"Those are, of course, not all of them."

"You promised all of them."

"Did I?" Anomie tapped her pointer finger to her bottom lip. "Were those my exact words then?"

"..." I didn't say anything because she was right. I had never been around someone quite like her, so I fell for her deceptions.

I wasn't a manipulative person by nature, so it was out of my element to be around someone who was, causing me to become slightly unnerved. I should have known, because that was how she was when I first met her. It was hidden slightly by Rin's ever present and youthful energy, but Rin wasn't here anymore.

"Don't you have enough gifts?" I couldn't imagine people not wanting to buy her affection since she was probably the prettiest girl I had ever seen in my life.

"I like stuff," she answered honestly, causing my lips to quirk.

"Is that right?" I asked, and at my deep stare she glanced away.

"Midnight tomorrow or I burn them," she told me, and I frowned, watching her smile and grab the bamboo pole and I quickly darted out of the way before the rice paper fixture could fall down on my head. She closed it completely, not allowing me to see inside.

●▬Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ▬●

I stared down at her notes with wide eyes, glancing in between them and the scroll. By now it was one in the morning and my eyes were burning. I barely remembered falling asleep, but my alarm blared out for me to wake up and get my ass to the training grounds. I doubted Kakashi was going to show up, but I hardly wanted to not be there in case he did.

I dragged myself out of bed, running my hand through the red strands of messy hair with a sigh.

Anomie's notes were brilliant, articulate, precise, and she had the hand writing of a calligraphist. She took the most dense and confusing piece of writing and turned it into something that was organized and most of all, fun. She added clever anecdotes that managed to make me genuinely smile. She related and quoted other works by different authors, clarified things that seemed vague. It all reminded me that she was actually highly intelligent. Once more, at that thought, I felt a touch of pity that such a mind was being wasted and mistreated in an occupation that was likely to get her in trouble or killed.

Then again, I too am in an occupation that is likely to get me killed. The only difference was perspective and I chose this life out of duty. I didn't have a faintest idea why Anomie would choose such a life, in fact, I didn't know if she chose it at all.

My back popped when I straightened it with a bitter sigh. I laid back against my bed, my back sinking into the mattress and staring at the ceiling.

It was difficult to watch people suffering, and have no idea how to help. I just wanted Kakashi and Anomie and everybody to be happy. More than that, I wanted them to be safe.

Despite all that, I had every doubt they would let me help. I couldn't find my voice with them. Kakashi was unlikely to listen, instead he just sulks and blames himself for every leaf that falls. Anomie changes the subject or gives me that smile that tells me that everything is okay. The both of them had such intense levels of pride that no matter what I said, I couldn't approach them.

That was a shame because they had such vast levels of potential, all being squandered by pride.

I doubted, as he was now, that I could convince Kakashi to drink a glass of water let alone join the team I was constructing. Anomie was just as unlikely, but I knew I had to try, because if I didn't, who else would?

I just didn't know how to do that.

●▬Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ▬●

Kakashi didn't show up. I knew he wouldn't because he was probably the most stubborn guy I've ever met. Of course, I wasn't about to drag him here kicking and screaming. That was mostly because I didn't want him to avoid me.

I had to be subtler than that.

I still had to get him to agree to be on my team. Him and Anomie would probably be the hardest ones to convince.

After training, and I only stopped because some newly created Genin squad decided they liked my spot, I went to search for a new gift to get Anomie. This was because I wanted the rest of the notes that she so effortlessly decided to scam me with, but I also wanted an excuse to be near her.

I can't help someone if I never see them.

It wasn't long into my shopping when I saw a man with a head of white hair, hugging a bunch of magazines to his chest. I'd have to be an idiot to not recognize Jiraiya's tall form, peeking out from the distance.

"If I close my eyes," I said, causing him to freeze. "Perhaps I can pretend that those aren't nude magazines that you are buying."

"Ah, Hallora." Jiraiya looked a bit sheepish, covering the detailed covers with a large hand so I wouldn't be able to see it. "These are research. I need them to research because I am a great author."

"Is that right?" I was unamused. "If I recall, you mostly write adventure stories."

"I've decided to branch out and pursue my true passion!" Jiraiya made a 'v' shape underneath his chin. I was unamused.

"Looking at porn?"

"No," he looked scandalized by my assumption. "Writing porn!"

"Okay, I'm done here. Anomie will likely throw a book back in my face if I gave it to her anyway," I commented, my mood deflated because I realized I had no idea how to shop for a girl.

"Anomie? She sounds pretty," Jiraiya was likely already lost to humanity at this point, but I was always ready to pop his bubble.

"She's the most gorgeous girl you will ever meet outside of porn," I told him, turning to walk out, he walked beside me, having already paid for his magazines. He had the decency to place them in his coat.

"You don't say."

"And she's funny."

"Sounds like my kind of woman."

"And she's 13."

Jiraiya paused, sending me a hurt look. "You are a cruel kid."

I smiled, quite pleased with myself. "So, you look like the kind of guy who knows how to buy gifts for girls."

"I don't know what you're insinuating."

"Uh huh. Anyway, what's something to get someone who is superficial and rude?"

"Vindictive too," Jiraiya agreed, causing me to pause.

"You've met her?"

"I wasn't certain until you described her," Jiraiya agreed with a frown. "She got me banned from the hot springs."

"What were you doing?" I asked swiftly, causing him to send me an unamused frown.

"Why do you assume I did something?" Jiraiya asked, stopping with me as I glanced over towards a shop with jewelry in the window.

"Because you're a pervert," I answered with a cheeky smile, watching him send me a scowl.

"I am a sage. A great Sannin. My power is unparalleled," he bragged, letting out a giggle.

"Uh huh," I commented, rolling my eyes as I walked into the shop. "If you were trying to get on the good side of a girl, as I'm sure you've never been-"

"Rude-"

"-what would you buy her?" I finished, nonchalantly shrugging off his comment.

"Probably something that looks expensive but isn't," he answered, and I glanced up at him, seeing as he was significantly taller than me. Then again, so were most people.

"That explains so much about you," I told him, watching him frown.

"You're rather rude for a little brat," he commented. "Where do you get the money to buy this caliber of gift?"

"I save," I answered, and perhaps because I overworked myself, having little time to spend on myself. It didn't bother me though. There wasn't that many things that I wanted apart from food.

I glanced over the items, but a rose gold hairpin caught my attention almost immediately, and I walked over to it. It was made up of well crafted, jewel encrusted hēza flowers. It was light, but not overpowered with jewels.

"Care to try it on?" The store clerk asked and I shook my head.

"In that nest of bed hair?" Jiraiya snorted, making fun of me the moment he had a chance.

"It's not for me," I answered, shooting a scowl at the Sannin. "Can you wrap it for me?" The man nodded his head and I dug into my wallet the moment I read the price, handing the money to him with a smile.

"Why are you buying it for that brat anyway?" Jiraiya asked, and I glanced up at him.

"It's not entirely for pure reasons. I want something from her," I answered.

"Is that right?" Jiraiya raised his brow.

"I've been ordered to construct a team. I want her on it," I said, and he raised a brow.

"She didn't look very strong," Jiraiya told me, causing me to smile.

"Nohara Rin trained her for a while," I admitted, although, I had never been close with either of them. I was closer to Obito and Kakashi. Unfortunately, our bonds might not have been strong enough to stay that way after every tragedy. "She was good."

"I'm sure she will like the gift then, runt," Jiraiya said, patting my head and messing it up even worse than it already looked.

"Stop it!" I whined, trying to slap his hand away.

"When you see her, send her a message for me."

●▬Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ▬●

"He said that, did he?" Anomie said, leaning out her window with a smirk. Her hair was perfect, but I could see the bags that were under her eyes from the moonlight.

"Word for word," I told her, glancing into her room as if I were to see a man in her bed. It was empty. Perhaps because I actually came at the time she requested.

"Well," Anomie tilted her head, resting her chin into her palms while she leaned her elbows against the round window opening. "If he were better at spying on naked girls, then perhaps I would have had no need to out him like that."

"Have you been sleeping well?" I asked.

"Like a baby," Anomie replied smoothly, handing me the rest of her notes. I took them, glancing at the bruise on Anomie's wrist in the shape of a hand print.

"If you're strong enough to do so, why not fight back?" I asked, referring to the bruises.

"I appreciate the gift," she said, holding up the wrapped box that I gave her upon seeing her, before she began to unwrap it. "But nobody will ever marry someone who can't mind their own business."

"Is that your attempt to dodge the question?" I asked, and she scoffed, tossing the wrapping paper back at me without so much as a thank you.

I tilted my head when she opened the black velvet box, watching her slightly pause as she glanced at the flowers that decorated the rose gold hair pin.

"You don't like it?" I asked, feeling slightly nervous. Knives and fighting I could handle, but with nearly 24/7 Shinobi duties, I never really had the time to treat friends like a citizen would. I never had a sleepover, never celebrated a birthday, and never really bought someone a present.

"You know, hairpins are a symbol of marriage," she said, her walls going back up and her smile in place. She leaned forward, reaching over to give me a sultry smirk as she gently ran her fingers through a strand of my hair. "Is there something you would like to confess to me then?"

I gave her a deadpan, but I didn't bother shaking off her flirty gesture.

"Not everyone wants to get with you, you know?" I told her and watched her brow raise, she dropped the strand of hair and run the back of her hand over her cheek.

"We both know that's not true. Look at me."

"Beauty isn't everything. Some people look for a good personality too," I reminded her.

"I can mold my personality into whatever I want it to be," she said with a smile of amusement. "Like clay."

"Can you mold it right now into someone who is actually nice?"

"Where's the fun in that?" She leaned her weight on one hip. "Nice is boring."

"Are you hungry?" I asked, and she tilted her head.

"Are you asking me on a date?"

"Do you always have to answer a question with another question?"

"Do you?"

"Are you hungry?" I asked again, losing my patience.

"I don't eat after 6 pm." She ran her hand over her hips, showing off her curves that were well outlined through the short, very short, kimono. It didn't help that the sash around her waist was tied so tight that I wondered if she could breathe. Then again, she always cared more about fashion than comfort. "Do you think it's easy to keep this figure?"

"How about tea?"

"Tea rots your teeth," she smiled, showing off the pure white teeth.

"Do you have to make this so difficult?"

"Yes."

I began to wonder if she was allowed to go anywhere. The more that I thought about it, the more I began to ponder if I ever saw her in the village. I never saw her shopping. I never saw her anywhere without another woman dressed in beautiful silk. Even the festival, she only attended with the other woman of this house.

"I can leave a clone," I suggested, catching her attention. "Your complete double."

She paused, and for once her lips pouted in thought. "...what kind of food?"

I smiled.

●▬Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ▬●

I watched with wide eyes as she slurped down her eighth rice bowl, filled to the brim with the broth, meat, bok choy, enoki mushrooms and lotus root of the shabu shabu. "I thought you said you weren't hungry."

"I said I don't eat after 6." Anomie replied, her cheeks full. She covered her lips with her fingertips when she talked.

"The 6 pm rule is stupid," I commented, eating my rice slowly. I usually didn't get home from missions or training until 10 pm, so I often ate out late.

"The things you give up for beauty," she said, whistling at the waitress for more rice.

"Don't be rude. They're people too."

"It's her job," Anomie replied with her head tilted. "She gets paid to be treated this way."

"No one deserves to be treated like your slave," I scolded her. Her smile came back when the waitress came around with another bowl of rice.

"Thank you, lovey," Anomie said.

"That's a little better," I said with a sigh.

"Why were you so adamant to buy me dinner?"

"I never said I was paying."

"Some date you are."

"This isn't a date."

"You couldn't afford me if it were." Anomie paused, eating slower now that she wasn't ravenously hungry.

"I wanted to talk to you," I said glancing over her face. "I wanted to offer you a job."

"I have a job."

"A better job," I said just as quick. I watched lips curl into a frown. "I am building a team that could use you."

"Are you looking down on me?" Anomie leaned forward, setting her chopsticks down.

"I'm offering this to you because I think so highly of you," I corrected. "This is my team and I think you could belong here."

Anomie tilted her head to the side, her long hair down and allowing me to see that it was actually rather curly. It was a rare hair type in Konoha, and yet it was also another thing she hid in clips and product and fashion.

"You really think that, don't you?" Anomie sighed, leaning back in her seat. "I won't be your charity or your good deed for the day."

"You're a coward," I told her just as she stood to leave. I glanced at her back, watching it stiffen. She didn't say anything more, she just walked out and left me with the bill.

She reminded me of Kakashi in that regard since the both of them were immensely difficult to get close to, but both made me want to get closer. More than that, I genuinely believed that they could do so much more.

That was why I couldn't give up on the both of them, leading me to confront my very next victim with a bit more success.

"You standing me up won't make me give up," I told him, locking my arm through his as I dragged him into a restaurant with a grin.

"I want you to give up." Kakashi looked exasperated, but he didn't try to escape my tight grip that locked him right next to me. I quickly ordered two plates of tempura with a quick smile. "I'm not hungry."

His stomach growled in response to his disinterest, causing me to raise a single brow. "Why are you being so difficult?"

He didn't answer, likely planning his escape.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing down at the book that was peaking out his pocket. I could just barely make out the words written 'life after death'. It was a morbid title that I really wished he hadn't needed to read. What made it worse was that he was so distant, and he refused to let me help him.

"Light reading," he said in a monotone, shoving the small book deeper in his baggy pocket. He rested his head in his arms that laid against the table. It was likely an attempt to get away from me, but I didn't budge.

Instead, I rested my head next to his, reminding me of the night his father died. It was sad that life had a tendency to repeat itself when it came to death. I understood that he needed time, and that was what I gave him for months. Now, I could see that time wasn't what he needed and instead just what he was accustomed.

While Anomie needed a nice slap in the face, Kakashi needed a friend. Although, I was okay with switching that every once in a while.

"I'm not going to tell you that it wasn't your fault," I told him, causing his back to stiffen. "I won't repeat what I've already told you."

He still didn't speak and I didn't dare touch him. He hardly needed a hug or physical comfort. I didn't want to scare him away.

"I know it hurts and I know that you think you are all alone. I know you think you deserve to stay miserable." As I spoke, I edged closer, careful not to surprise him or scare him away. "You're not. I'm here. You still have people who care for you deeply. Don't push us away, but if you must, then please eat. Drink water. Take a shower. Live."

As if on a timer, the waitress set the two plates down in front of the two us. I thanked her before waiting for him to take a bite of anything on his plate. It was slow, and for a moment I thought I would have to force him. Eventually, however, he did. It was a small victories, but then again, it was many small victories that ended the war.

●▬Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ▬●

"Tell me," I stated, glancing up towards Jiraiya as he continued to make a strategic move across the shogi board. I wasn't the worst at the game, but certainly not quite on Jiraiya's level. I never would have expected his talent for it considering how much of it goes wasted when he sees a pretty woman. "What's your opinion on the red light district?"

"Hefty question for someone of your age," he replied, causing my lips to curve into a frown.

"I don't get why so many corrupt deeds go by unpunished," I told him, and he glanced up at me.

"The red light district builds revenue. Those misdeeds go by quietly because of higher powers in the council."

I moved a piece, only to be boxed in when he proceeded to Sabaki my rook. "Minato doesn't seem like the type to let it slide," I said, and he glanced up at me.

"The Hokage must obey the council members who advise him. The Hokage can pass small bills that makes it harder, but he can't outright fight the council. It takes cunning."

"Is that why you turned down the role?" I asked, attempting to come back from his strategic Sabaki.

"The hat would never fit," he commented lamely. It earned a small incredulous smile, but I continued with my strategy. It was difficult to win back my victory from the jaws of defeat, but when I finally cornered him, he leaned back in his chair. "How did you do that?"

"I planned out my next moves," I answered honestly. Of course, I always liked to plan ahead, thinking of every action that could happen and would happen before the end of the other person's next thought. Perhaps it was paranoia, something that deeply infested my very being, and it escaped as I attempted my moves.

"What brought on this line of thought?" Jiraiya said, leaning back with a sigh.

"There's this girl that I want to protect," I admitted, not dropping her name since I knew in my chest that she'd never want me to. "She's got so much life, but it's that type of life that wilts if it's kept from the warmth of the sun." I raised my hands, my fingers outstretched and reaching for the sky. "She's been in the dark so long, and I know she needs to get out before all her petals are stripped bare."

"You're in a bind," Jiraiya informed me, his lips pressed together. "Some people, Hallora, you can't change." He slightly smiled when he saw my brows etch together in confusion.

"She's not a lost cause. I don't believe anybody is," I replied, although, I didn't have evidence of my beliefs, but I also had no proof to make the decision that she _didn't _deserve it. I don't even have the choice to decide what she deserves, because I only wanted to offer the choice to those willing to take the opportunity.

"I just don't want you to waste your life trying to change somebody into who you believe they can be, instead of who they are," Jiraiya told me, and I got the impression that there were hundreds of words hidden under the guise of what he wasn't saying.

I was silent for a moment, because I still remembered how adamant Kakashi was about protecting Rin for the sake of honoring Obito. I still remembered his deep remorse for his father and the way he always remained so humble even after every victory. He too lost his way, much like Anomie. Their path could hang right in front of them but it seemed like they didn't want to take that step to claim it, and that was perhaps their greatest tragedy.

"I had had friend once," Jiraiya said, his voice full of melancholy.

"That's a shocker," I told him in a dry sort of voice.

"Shut up," he retorted, but he didn't place any energy into it. Instead, he leaned back and gazed off in the distance, as if there were something there that I wasn't seeing. Perhaps that was a deep wisdom, of the sort that I was not yet experienced or aged enough to notice. "I spent a long time trying to help him, to get him to go the right path."

"Did it work?" I couldn't help but ask and Jiraiya finally glanced towards me, grinning that silly grin once again before he ruffled my hair with his palm.

"No kid. Some people you can't change. Some people are built like iron and they'd break before they bend. The hardest thing to decide is what kind of person they are, and as admirable it is to believe the best in people, it comes upon you like a double edged blade. I'd rather not see you cut," he told me, and I would never forget those words. They were placed in front of me like a test, dangling out and reminding me of my dad. He too always had a way with words. However, I was stubborn like my mom.

"I don't believe that," I told him, standing up and facing him with wide eyes. I placed my hands behind my back, holding my wrist in between my palm and fingers. "Add a little fire, and even iron can be shaped. People are funny that way. You can't change them, but you can help them to become something more, and I believe, with all my heart, that kindness and compassion are the only way to go about all the problems in the world."

I believed that so greatly, even when the world made me want to doubt it. Hatred and life have a way to morph naivety and the ramblings of a girl. Of course, that isn't what this tale is about, and that is another story to tell.

I understood, with perfect clarity, what Jiraiya was getting at, but despite how cruel Anomie could be and how cold Kakashi proved to be, something told me that they did need help.

"Oh, wonderful, it's you." Anomie was decorated in brilliant silk, her face still that brilliant porcelain mask. I couldn't deny that she knew how to take care of herself, at least physically.

"Do you have to be so...catty all the time?" I asked, leaning against her window frame and watching her continue to place hairpins into her bright white hair.

"Meow," she answered smoothly, and I grew slightly amused by her quick wit.

"I want to take you somewhere," I told her, my eyes still narrowed.

She turned her head towards me, her winged liner and long lashes thick with bemusement as she blinked. "I'm going to stop you right there. First of all, no, and second of all, no."

"Come with me and I'll leave you alone. I promise," I told her, but even I wasn't completely sure if that was true.

"What game are you playing at? I get that you have this whole nice girl thing going for you, but I don't want to be apart of your kumbaya circle. I just might projectile vomit all over the ground."

I rolled my eyes, pressing my chin into my palm.

"Does it make you feel better?" I asked, and she raised a brow.

"Alright. I'll bite. Does what make me feel better?" Anomie asked, her lips pursed together before she placed some red lipstick as a top coat.

"Putting people down? Does it make you feel less small?" I asked, not to be cruel or to start an argument, but more so as curiosity to understand her mind.

"I could turn that right back onto you," Anomie said, shrugging and standing up, pressing her long finger up against her lips. "You act like you are some sort of insightful brat, but really, you like the way it makes you feel. High and mighty Hallora, up on that high horse slumming it with my ilk. I like what I do and it's what I'm good at doing."

"You don't even realize it yet, do you?" I asked, and she tilted her head. I slowly closed the distance, lifting her shaking hand so she could see. "You're shaking."

She glanced down at her palm, confirming what I saw. She looked to not have realized it was happening at all, and that was perhaps the saddest thing of all. She tore her hand from my grasp, her face going back to that smooth bit of nothing and the shaking stopped.

"I'm not interested. Don't let the window hit you on your ass as you climb out," she said, her voice low and biting. Considering she cursed, I could immediately tell that she was flustered. Anomie had a way of hurting people without using such language.

"Alright. You would have liked it though. So much fruit that you now won't have," I told her, and noticed that her selfishness was perhaps too exploitable when she immediately looked interested in my words. I didn't comment on it because she seemed to slightly bend, despite what Jiraiya was adamant about believing against.

"You'll have to leave a clone," she said lowly, her lips pursed.

"Of course," I agreed, wondering how she could survive with such an obvious lack of freedom. I could never cope. As she agreed, I noticed something rather curious. It was the sight of cohush herbs, carefully placed next to a mortar. I didn't stare too long since Anomie hated the invasion of privacy and I didn't want to push my luck for her agreeable state.

It was rather silent of a walk through the village, especially for me since people often stopped to talk to Anomie. Some were just kindly flirting, but others I had the strong suspicion knew exactly what she was and were testing the waters. That was hard to watch, since she was treated like an object rather than a girl.

"Are you leading me into the cold dark woods?" Anomie asked, stopping just before the clearing of trees. "That's not creepy at all. You realize that you're being creepy, right?"

I sighed, watching her lean on one hip. We had the privacy and seclusion that I needed. I turned towards her and matched her deadpan expression. "It doesn't bother you?"

"What?" Anomie tilted her head. "That I don't see the feast promised? It more so annoys me."

I chuckled, glancing back towards her eyes. "No. Does it bother you being so weak?"

Her cold smile disappeared and was replaced by something else. I couldn't quite read her expression, but something told me it was close to being something human. She closed herself off so well from the world, so neatly, as if she had done it with precision and care. Most words didn't have an effect anymore because she'd heard them all.

"Excuse me?" Anomie raised her brows again, and I slightly shrugged, not wasting a moment to twist my leg to trip her. She fell straight on her back. Her elbows caught her fall, her brows knitted together and her eyes ran to mine. Finally, she showed surprise. "I'm going to scratch your orphan eyes out."

"You gotta stand up to do that. At the moment, I'm not sure you'll reach," I taunted, and she attempted to stand back up, but I kicked her hand, perhaps too roughly as she let out a curse while I placed my foot against her chest. Her hair was spread out and disheveled, and her eyes were narrowed, but not quite as wild as I wanted. "Isn't it frustrating? To be so obviously overpowered? Look at yourself. You're pathetic."

She slightly smiled, scratching her nails into my leg, forcing it off her as she rolled on her side and stood up. It was clumsy because of her clothes were too restricting around her legs. Her movements were constrained and she was obviously dripping with annoyance. It wasn't enough, and I knew there was more I could do. I rushed forward, kicking my knee into her stomach. She knelt forward, coughing and clutching my clothes.

"You can't fight. You can't do anything but accept it. Don't you feel weak? Don't you feel anything at all?" I asked, and finally she glanced up at me, swiping her palm into my chest with a force that left me breathless before she kicked my legs and shoved be backwards. Her silk dress was ripped at the leg, making her movements more nimble as she placed her fingers against my throat and squeezed. It hurt, but I ran Chakra through my skin to lessen it all.

"Isn't this a compromising situation," she whispered, her eyes narrowed and wild. I kicked my legs up with a force of Chakra, twisting us around so I could get some much needed air. I pinned her legs down with my own, and held her arms steady above her head.

"Do you feel it? Right now. That's anger. You feel belittled and weak. You are," I told her, and her eyes glared holes right through mine, and my own guilt added weight. "You hate it. Why? You should be used to it. Objectified, used, mistreated. Don't you feel pathetic? I could kill you so easily today. You could be raped so easily tomorrow. Say something. What do you feel? What do you want?"

"At the moment?" Anomie attempted to move with no use. "I want you to get off me."

"And if I say no, what will you do?" I asked, and she finally sent a wave of Chakra through her arms, forcing me off.

"I'll make you," she said, sitting up and rubbing her jaw, making me remember that I didn't hold back when I slammed my elbow into it. "You're a serious nutcase."

"And you're pathetic," I answered, and our stares slammed into each other with a force strong enough to bend iron.

Anomie ran her fingers through her hair, undoing the clips and lying back. She covered her face with her palms, making me wonder if perhaps I said too much. "I know."

My head turned abruptly, watching and feeling her mask crumble. Finally, I was able to sense that raw emotion bubbling in her chest like a hurricane. The force of it was crushing, and I began to wonder how she could bare it. I wasn't used to such level of stress, especially since coming back from the war and into this time of peace. There was something she wasn't telling me, a secret that I wanted to know, just to see if I could help.

"I'm tired," she whispered, her voice breathy and deep. "And not just because you pack a punch like a wild rhino."

I slightly smiled at her description. "I'm here to listen."

"You're not gonna hit me again?" Anomie asked, peeking over at me with a slightly bitter smile. I felt my lips quirk up, laying down next to her.

"What's the cohosh for?" I asked, and she turned her head back to the sky.

"I used to love looking at the stars," she told me, her lids blinking slowly. She didn't cry, but I couldn't imagine her crying. "I forgot how to do many of the things I once liked to do."

I was silent, allowing her to answer at her own pace. A part of me already knew, because I could sense these kinds of things so well. I could sense that there were four birds, hiding in the bushes to my right, just as vividly as the life in her womb.

"If I could reach inside and crush its lungs with my fist," Anomie said, pressing her fingers against her stomach as if she were going to do just that. "I would. Unfortunately, cohosh is the next best thing to rectify a mistake."

She placed her palm against her lips, as if she couldn't believe she had shared such a thing.

"It's okay to feel weak," I told her, and she glanced at me. I couldn't look at her this time. "You don't have to be strong all the time. Not if you join me. You won't have to look over shoulder or worry about what you say every second of the day. You can enjoy life and laugh with friends. There's nothing wrong with it."

Anomie was silent, but only for a moment even if that moment felt like a lifetime. I knew that if she didn't agree now, there was nothing more to be said and that I'd have to give up. "Did you have to hit so hard?"

I laughed. "Some people can get through to others with words alone, but you can only see reason with violence."

She laughed next, and before we knew it, we were laughing like mad. We made eye contact, only to laugh again at the pure ridiculousness of it all. It was all so genuine and pure and perhaps, even, the start of something beautiful.

Anomie was never iron, no, she was steel.

Perhaps that was the greatest thing about people and why I loved them so much. Even after having the ability to literally read them like a book, they still never failed to surprise me. There was something so pure and innocent about gathering amazing people. It left so much open to potential, to what could and may happen to an extent that even I didn't know. It was a vision, a goal, to gather amazing people and help them change the world. Even if the changes were as small as a smile or as pure as laughter between two friends.

I liked that each of us could be damaged in our own way, but those tragedies could help us grow. Afterall, Hirayasu Hyuuga was a crybaby, but he knew the horrors of the front lines and how much blood someone could lose before they pass. Kakashi Hatake knew the pain that loss spreads and infects, where even hatred is useless. Anomie knew what war could force young girls to do or how to live. And me, I knew _people_. I knew that not all conflicts had to be solved with iron and blood. Some can be solved with words, and maybe an occasional fist, and that was how the world should run.

No blood, no death, just _kindness and compassion. _

****Author's Note****

Alright, this story was requested in detail by Hallaris. I hope I did well as you asked, it was tough cause there was so much to your backstory, but it made it all more rewarding. I really enjoyed writing Hallora and in the end, I hope you like what I did with her. I love how you wanted my own character, Anomie, into it and found it very flattering that you liked her well enough.

I was going to depict Kakashi's joining into Hallora's team, but decided that it didn't fit when it came to pacing and honestly, it didn't feel quite right. I made Hallora a bit harsher in her methods than your character description, but that was just cause I figured she was a bit rough around the edges from the war.

I hoped you liked it and thank you for reading!


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